Caroline Totah One of the biggest obstacles to asking for help is the belief we should be able to do something by ourselves. Many clients tell me, “I know how to do this. I shouldn’t need someone else here to help me.” Just because we know how to do something doesn’t mean we can stay focused on … Read more
In a previous post, I cautioned that it may not be worth the time to maintain a highly detailed filing system. I promised I would follow up with my recommendations for a simple paper management system, and guess what? I am having a very hard time making it simple! Paper is complicated stuff. So here’s … Read more
Managing paper is one of the most common challenges I see. Here are some reasons why: Sorting papers requires categorization, which may not come easily Sorting papers requires good working memory, so we can remember our categories and what goes in each one The possibility of unpleasant or negative information raises anxiety We have to anticipate … Read more
Most of us are familiar with the phrase, “empty calories” to denote foods that offer no nutritional benefit. Several clients have recently described some of their time-wasting behaviors, and I realized, they are filling up on empty dopamine! Dopamine is a neurotransmitter involved with sensations of reward and pleasure. We get a good hit of … Read more
Many of my clients cower in fear at the mere word, “sort.” When I probe a bit further, it’s usually because they tell me they don’t know where to put anything. Ahhh, this is a different problem. My definition of “sort,” has nothing to do with deciding where things go. It’s just about grouping similar … Read more
One of the biggest hurdles to adopting new behaviors is accepting that there is no magic bullet. People ask me for help to find the perfect systems or tools that will allow them to finally be on top of things. If only it were so easy! A bright shiny new filing system loses its luster quickly. … Read more
There are two ways you can deal with your clutter: By choice, on your own terms Or when the decisions are made for you A natural disaster may wipe out your home and possessions. A health crisis may force you to downsize and move into assisted living. Municipal authorities can mandate a clear out. If … Read more
Clients come to me because they want new habits. And almost always, we start with lowering expectations. Well, not exactly lowering them. Maybe “re-framing” is a better word. When I ask new clients, “What have you already tried?” It’s surprising to me how many have already taken the exact actions I would advise. The problem … Read more
I’ve developed the good habit of drinking 72 ounces of water a day. During a recent appointment with a client, I realized that I felt awful. I was fatigued and eager for the appointment to be over. It was hard to sustain my focus. Luckily, I was able to function well-enough, but I was conscious of having to exert … Read more
We’re often told to schedule our tasks on the calendar, and while I don’t believe this practice is absolutely critical, it’s helpful for many, although perhaps not in the way you think. Resistance There is a natural resistance to obligating our discretionary time, especially for tasks we don’t like to do. Most of us are … Read more