Caroline Totah 
I’ve been enjoying the humorous “Spellman series” by Lisa Lutz, and was struck by a simple statement from lead character Isabel Spellman: Our ability to adapt is amazing. Our ability to change isn’t quite as spectacular. How profound! She articulated something that I observe with my clients and myself. Expecting ourselves to start behaving differently … Read more
Lots of advice is offered about how to manage the busy holidays, but many of us have the opposite problem—we are not that busy! Schools and workplaces are closed; volunteer committees, networking events and extra-curricular activities are on pause for December. Even our favorite TV shows are gone, replaced with re-runs and bad holiday specials. All … Read more
I just got back from the annual CHADD conference, where the therapeutic benefits of mindfulness and/or meditation was a huge topic. Mindfulness is helpful not just for reducing unwanted aspects of ADHD, but for improving mental and physical health in all sorts of ways. If you’re skeptical, check out these websites from Harvard, the American Psychological Association and UC … Read more
What comes to mind when you hear the word, “reward?” A bonus? A massage? Chocolate? These things may be nice and feel satisfying in the moment, but do they really help us to improve our behavior? What are the types of rewards that will help us change habits? When we use indulgences and activities outside our … Read more
Five common ways we get stuck, and some strategies to get moving again: 1. Unable to get started: You know what you want to do and how to do it, but you just can’t get started or you’re too overwhelmed. Strategy: Try micro-steps. Work for just 5 minutes; or do just one action, such as filing … Read more
Has your inner critic been wreaking havoc lately? We all have those little voices that point out our flaws, or worse, say very mean things to us. The process of going through years of accumulated papers and possessions creates a real playground for our inner critic, as we are confronted with all the “woulda, coulda, … Read more
I was asked how to ensure lasting results when working with an organizer. Whether it’s maintaining a newly organized space or adopting any other new habit, I think the answer is not to focus on immediate change, but instead to focus on the intended result, so the new behaviors are a natural outgrowth of a person’s own awareness and insight. Let’s say a … Read more
Decluttering, organizing and attempting new habits can stir up that inner critic. We are reminded of missed opportunities and mistakes; of things we wish we had done better, or differently, or not at all. Our imperfections and flaws take center-stage. If you’re thinking that you need to be self-critical, then I ask you to assess … Read more
I think we need to pay more attention to boredom. Most of us don’t think much about it. It seems like an innocuous state of mind that isn’t necessarily pleasant, but isn’t harmful, either. I came to a greater appreciation of the power of boredom while listening to a podcast from procrastination researcher, Dr. Timothy … Read more
In my last post, I discussed sneaky overwhelm and how to break through it using a “cheat sheet.” But sometimes, the overwhelm is more severe and may be connected to trauma and shame. We may need a much more robust cheat sheet. Thankfully, there’s an app for that! iChill, by the Trauma Resource Institute, is … Read more