Are you stalled from moving forward on a project because you can’t make a decision? Perhaps you aren’t sure which contractor to hire, which bookkeeping software to use, or which after-school program your kids should attend… Life requires lots of decisions. Our decision making styles are inherent parts of our personality, and they fall into two groups: maximizers and satisficers. … Read more
The recent death of Nancy Reagan reminded me of her “Just Say No” campaign against drug use. Many ridiculed her for over-simplifying a very complex problem. As someone who is often witness to people struggling to say “no” to unhelpful habits, I’m well aware that it can be very difficult. But I also think the mantra “just … Read more
Clients often tell me, “I feel like I’m just running in circles.” They get very discouraged to encounter the same problems again and again. But circles are also part of life. We repeat many aspects of our lives. Eating, bathing, working, etc. Some circles happen within a few hours, and some span a longer time, … Read more
Some clients feel discouraged when I recommend tiny steps to implement a new habit. They say their problems are so huge that such tiny steps couldn’t possibly make a difference, and to an extent, they are right. Taking one small step, in and of itself, will not solve the problem. What follows that one small step is what … Read more
I’ve been enjoying the humorous “Spellman series” by Lisa Lutz, and was struck by a simple statement from lead character Isabel Spellman: Our ability to adapt is amazing. Our ability to change isn’t quite as spectacular. How profound! She articulated something that I observe with my clients and myself. Expecting ourselves to start behaving differently … Read more
I just got back from the annual CHADD conference, where the therapeutic benefits of mindfulness and/or meditation was a huge topic. Mindfulness is helpful not just for reducing unwanted aspects of ADHD, but for improving mental and physical health in all sorts of ways. If you’re skeptical, check out these websites from Harvard, the American Psychological Association and UC … Read more
What comes to mind when you hear the word, “reward?” A bonus? A massage? Chocolate? These things may be nice and feel satisfying in the moment, but do they really help us to improve our behavior? What are the types of rewards that will help us change habits? When we use indulgences and activities outside our … Read more
Has your inner critic been wreaking havoc lately? We all have those little voices that point out our flaws, or worse, say very mean things to us. The process of going through years of accumulated papers and possessions creates a real playground for our inner critic, as we are confronted with all the “woulda, coulda, … Read more
I was asked how to ensure lasting results when working with an organizer. Whether it’s maintaining a newly organized space or adopting any other new habit, I think the answer is not to focus on immediate change, but instead to focus on the intended result, so the new behaviors are a natural outgrowth of a person’s own awareness and insight. Let’s say a … Read more
Decluttering, organizing and attempting new habits can stir up that inner critic. We are reminded of missed opportunities and mistakes; of things we wish we had done better, or differently, or not at all. Our imperfections and flaws take center-stage. If you’re thinking that you need to be self-critical, then I ask you to assess … Read more