What comes to mind when you hear the word, “reward?” A bonus? A massage? Chocolate? These things may be nice and feel satisfying in the moment, but do they really help us to improve our behavior? What are the types of rewards that will help us change habits?
When we use indulgences and activities outside our normal routines as rewards, they usually become one-off events and feel disconnected from our everyday lives. Often, it’s not practical to repeat them and they aren’t viable as part of our plan for sustained habit change.
I have noticed the best results come from what may seem like the smallest, simplest rewards. In fact, often the rewards are just doing the same things, but having different experiences.
For example, I get very stressed when I’m running late. I wanted to start a new habit of leaving my home 15 minutes earlier each day. What was my reward? A more peaceful commute. I was still going to be in the car, but the experience of commuting without that added stress was so rewarding, that it helped me make the necessary changes in my morning routine and leave earlier.
A client has the example of walking her dog, which she does every evening. She looks forward to this event as her transition time from her job and chores to relaxation and fun, but found she didn’t enjoy it as much when she had left a messy desk at work. On the other hand, when her desk was clear, the dog walk was even more satisfying. She used this anticipation of an even more enjoyable dog walk as her motivation for clearing her desk before leaving work, and it soon became a well-ingrained habit.
Another client used her love of cooking to identify a reward for keeping her kitchen counters clear. Clear counters allowed her more freedom to experiment with new recipes and enjoy her passion.
Unlike extrinsic rewards, we can replicate these small, simple rewards every time we perform a target action. Our new behaviors become associated with positive experiences, and new habits are internalized more readily.
When we find the intrinsic rewards in the things we are doing, we greatly enhance the likelihood of habit change. Rewards work best when they are not about lavishly compensating ourselves for completing aversive tasks; but instead they are about appreciating the actions that enhance our everyday lives.