Overwhelm has two personalities. Sometimes, it announces itself loudly, making us feel bombarded, over-stimulated and panicky. It’s usually obvious when this overwhelm is present, and we usually enlist help to do something about it, or at least we rant, cry, scream, or do something to acknowledge its presence.
But there is a sneaky side of overwhelm, too. It can creep up on us and we may not know it’s there. Just like obvious overwhelm, sneaky overwhelm can render us incapable of following through with our intentions. It has the power to paralyze, leaving smart, well-intentioned people unable to think and take action.
Sneaky overwhelm especially likes to show up when the tasks are things that may seem simple, like making phone calls, filing papers, clearing clutter, or making dinner.
Sneaky overwhelm creates strange sound effects. It seems to be talking from inside our heads, whispering things like, “lazy,” “stupid,” and “hopeless.”
Sneaky overwhelm is also a master of disguise. It can take the form of an impenetrable wall, a dark cloud, a river of molasses or an immobilizing weight. Sneaky overwhelm needs to create these illusions to survive, because in reality, it’s very vulnerable. With just a few tiny steps, we can break through sneaky overwhelm and move with purpose toward our goals.
So how do we take those first tiny steps when our brains have shut down and we can’t think beyond the couch? We need a cheat sheet–something we can refer to when our brains aren’t working. And our steps need to be so tiny and simple that we are absolutely sure we can do them even when sneaky overwhelm has us in its tightest grip. Here’s an example for a client that became overwhelmed every time she had to deal with her mail:
- Get coffee
- Put on music
- Gather mail in one pile
- Breathe
- Open top envelope
She discovered that if she followed her simple steps, she could break through the overwhelm barrier and stay current with her mail. Notice that her steps don’t include any of the more substantive tasks associated with the mail, like paying bills, responding to invitations and inquiries, filing important papers, shredding credit card offers, etc. She could do all that, as long as she could just get started; and to just get started, she needed to break it down to the simplest, tiniest steps.
When my kids were young, I used to get overwhelmed with housework. We would all come home from school together at 3 pm, and I would walk in the door and have no idea what to do next. So I developed this cheat sheet and made it a habit to check it every afternoon:
- Start load of laundry
- Check toilets for clogs (kids don’t always tell you about these things)
- Sweep kitchen floor
As long as I got started with those things, I was able to break through my overwhelm and work productively on whatever my other tasks were for the day.
Now that I’m a solo-preneur, I tend to get overwhelmed with business planning tasks, so I have developed a new cheat sheet:
- Write down all my ideas for 5 minutes
- Close my eyes and point to one idea
- Brainstorm about that idea, on paper for 10 minutes
It’s important to make your cheat sheet when you’re not feeling overwhelmed! Catch yourself being successful, and write down the first one or two actions that enabled you to ease into the work. Keep this information where you will see it when you need it, or save it as a pop-up reminder.
What causes your sneaky overwhelm, and what cheat sheets might be helpful for you?